She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
