you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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