I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
