You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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