yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
