i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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