i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
no you cant smoke seaweed
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Randomize
