false alarm. still invincible.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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