I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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