I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Help. Why am I so naked?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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