Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
babies were throwing up all over the place
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize