it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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