I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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