friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
