Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize