So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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