I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
