Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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