It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
