just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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