I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
