I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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