are you so shy because you have an std?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Randomize
