I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Randomize
