I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
