my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
