so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
