Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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