broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize