I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
