Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
