Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
