i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
