shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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