Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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