Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
