Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
