The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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