I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I need moral support for this bender
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
