I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize