no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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