how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
