Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
