So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
