i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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