Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
