I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
i think im in europe. pls send help
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
