she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
