Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
