around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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