This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
