How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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