Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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