I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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