It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Randomize
