dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
