Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
