$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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