if you like me you must not know who I am
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
