My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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