Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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