Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize