Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
The power of my boobs compel you
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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