I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
