pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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