got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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