so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
