mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
now i know why i became what i already was.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
