Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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