well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
