Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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