so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
