I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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