the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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